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Questions People Ask

Grief That Does Not Follow the Stages

You may have heard that grief moves through five stages in order. For most people it does not, and that is not a sign you are doing it wrong.

Questions People Ask

Where the Stages Came From

Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance were first described from conversations with people who were facing their own death. They were never meant as a checklist for everyone who loses someone. Real grief loops back, skips around and shows up years later on an ordinary Tuesday.

What Grief Can Actually Look Like

Feeling fine for weeks, then undone by a song or a smell
Relief mixed in with sadness, and guilt about the relief
Grieving someone who is still alive, or a relationship that ended
Grief for a job, a home, your health or the life you expected
Anger at people who seem to have moved on

When to Reach Out

There is no deadline on grief. It can help to talk to someone when the loss is getting in the way of sleep, work or relationships, when you feel stuck in one place, or when you do not have people around you who can hear it. Therapy offers room for your experience without prescribing a timeline.

How Crystal Works With Grief

Crystal's training includes grief, and she offers a safe, supportive and non-judgmental space where healing can happen at your own pace. Sessions are held by secure telehealth anywhere in Arizona or Oregon.

Ways People Carry Grief

Talking about the person and saying their name out loud
Keeping rituals, like a meal or a place that mattered to you both
Writing letters to the person or to the life you lost
Letting some days be hard without judging them
Finding people who can listen without trying to fix it

Grief and Depression

Grief and depression can look alike: sadness, low energy, poor sleep and pulling away from others. Grief tends to come in waves tied to the loss, with moments of warmth or even laughter in between. Depression can feel flatter and more constant. The two can also overlap. If you are not sure what you are feeling, that is a good thing to explore in therapy. If you are ever in crisis, call or text 988, or call 911 in an emergency.

Starting Grief Therapy

Grief therapy starts with a free consultation of about 15 minutes, then an intake. Individual sessions are $200, and couple or family sessions are $250 if you are grieving together. Sessions are held by secure telehealth, so you can talk from a place where you feel safe to cry.